Update

Okay,  so I've noticed this story has a lot of views and no comments.  I just wanted to update whoever may be reading. I have a few things in my drafts and I'm debating posting them, but I really don't know where to go with the storyline anymore. However,  I will be starting a new story really soon, and it's different (definitely haven't read a similar fic) so I'm excited about that.  Be on the look out for it. Thanks anonymous and quiet readers,  Xoxo

Mess

Nicki Pov

The sunlight peeked in through the curtains, shining right onto my face. In attempt to fall back asleep I grabbed a pillow to shield my face, but to no avail, since I was already awake. I threw the blankets off myself and headed to the restroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Afterwards, I stepped into a very cold shower to further wake myself. 

Stepping out the shower, I walked up to the cloudy mirror to grab my towel when something caught my eye. I cleared the glass with my hand to get a better look at my reflection.

"Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit," I cursed myself and leaned in to get a better view of the purple marks on my skin. "Aubrey," I whispered to myself and hurried to my room to search for my phone.

Drake: Nic, u fell asleep in my arms last night & I layed u down in bed & tucked u in. I left after making sure u were ok but I'll be back soon. Just know I meant everything I said last night. 

Before I could get the chance to respond I heard a loud noise come from downstairs.

"Shit shit shit," I panicked and began to pace the floor, assuming Safaree was home. I frantically searched the room for my makeup bag and rushed to the bathroom. I dabbed foundation and pressed powder as best as I could over the purple marks on my neck and chest. Then I went into the closet to change into a long sleeve plaid pajama top & some pajama shorts. I held my breath as I slowly tip-toed down the stairs.

Empty. 

What? 

Where'd the noise come from?

I looked around and heard loud laughter and let out a calm breath. I walked over to the kitchen to find Candi and Lauren.

"I'm telling you her ass could sleep all day if we let her," Candi protested.

"What're y'all loud asses doing in my kitchen so damn early?" I asked, startling them and looking over to the clock which read 12:07pm.

"Well goodmorning to you too Nika!" Candi laughed.

"And it's noon, ma'am," Lauren corrected.

I walked closer to them to give them hugs and then headed to the fridge to grab some orange juice.

"Ooop, look who missed a spot," Candi said pointing at me & Lauren's eyes widened.

"So I'm assuming Safaree'll be down in a minute and that you two are all better?" Candi asked, while Lauren stayed quiet.

I poured my glass of juice and leaned against the fridge, taking a drink and avoiding eye contact.

"Actually no," I started hesitantly. "Aubrey was here last night," I blurted out and hurried away into the living room to turn on the TV.

"What?! I would ask what he was doing but by the looks of your poorly covered up neck, I'd guess you," Candi said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"No, Candice. There was talking and kissing involved, that's all," I stated.

"You sure SB's gonna be so understanding when you tell him that?" Lauren asked with a hint of attitude.

"If he even cares! Everything's an argument lately & all he does is throw himself into other things. He doesn't even pay attention to me anymore. Oh, and let's not forget that he just walks out during our arguments. Hence him not being here now, he hasn't even came home. How do I know he wasn't with some whore last night? Or one of the many nights he walked out in the middle of our fights?!" I snapped. 

"Girl, you know that man loves you way too much to do something like that. Y'all have been together for how long? You've known each other for how long? Maybe you two should sit down & talk about things. Drake tryn'a swoop in and come to your rescue while Safaree's away ain't fair and you know it," Lauren said sitting on the opposite couch with Candi.

I sighed. I knew Lauren was right & I knew she wanted what was best for me, but I was just so angry at Safaree. Everything happened so fast last night with Drake.

"Talk to him, Onika," Candi said plainly.

"Talk to who?" A voice came out of no where just as the door closed.

My heart stopped and I looked up, meeting Safaree's gaze.

"We'd better go, call us or something bitch," Candi said as her and Lauren got up and headed for the door.

"Love you two," I called to them & heard 'Love you too's before the door was closed.

Safaree stood in front of me.

He ran a hand over his face.

"Nic, I'm tired of this fighting. I'm tired of us being like this," Safaree said, catching me off guard, and sounding completely defeated.

I looked in his eyes and a wave of guilt hit my body with force. I felt tears begin to gather in my eyes. He sat next to me and I placed a hand on his face, trying to read him further. A tear threatened to escape but I looked away.

"Nic, please, I don't even care what the argument was about this time. I just, I'll do whatever it takes for us to be back to normal," he said pulling me into him. His arms wrapped around my body and his head fell to my chest.

The guilt sunk further into me and I let out a sigh.

"Safaree, I love you." He looked up at me & placed a hand on my face.

"But I think we need a break," I barely let out. 

"What?" He said, his body tensing & him moving away from me while he sat up.

"We're ruining each other, & everything we have right now, I just, I don't know, we need time. Time apart, to fix it," I said looking away & holding back tears.

"Nicki, that's bullshit and you know it. You know I love you more than anything in this world. I don't need time, I need you. Tell me what I need to fix & I'll do it," Safaree retorted.

"It's not you that need's fixing, it's me," I said, my voice cracking.

"Nicki, what're you talking about?" he pulled me towards him again. "You don't-" his eyes traveled to my neck & I just stared at him. Internally smacking myself and my stupidity. He let go of me & stood.

"Safaree-" I stood up and reached for him. My tears had finally fallen. 

"Tell me, those aren't what I think they are on your neck," he said, his tone serious.

I stayed silent & my cheeks continued to be stained with tears.

"Tell me, you were alone here last night, & that I'm seeing shit 'cuz I know damn well I wasn't kissing on you last night so who the fuck was?" He snapped and looked me right in the eyes.

"Safaree," I reached for his arm but he pulled away. "Safaree, I, I don't know. I was stupid. I was drinking. Drake came over, we kissed. I-I-.. We had been fighting & I don't know, I was so mad at you & everything happened so quickly. But nothing more than kissing, I swear to you. I just- That's- that's why I said we needed fixing. Me, not you. I'm the one ruining us," I rambled, now crying uncontrollably.

"Wow," Safaree said, his voice lifeless, but his body tense. The vain on his forehead poked out so I could tell how angry he was.

"Safaree, please. Please. Don't hate me, okay. I know I fucked up. I know how mad you are, but please," I sat down on the couch and hid my face in my hands.

Silence. 

I expected to hear the slamming of the door and him driving off. Just as I looked up he was standing right in front of me.

"Faree, please say something," I pleaded.

He pulled me to him, instantly picking me up into his arms as my legs wrapped around him. His lips crashed onto mine. One of his hands was firmly around my waist while the other was holding my face. His lips attacked mine, he sucked along my bottom lip, biting on it, before his lips were against mine again & his tongue snuck it's way into my mouth. Our tongue's wresteld for dominance and he had so much force, so much anger, so much passion that I felt throughout the kiss. His hands traveled up my body as I felt him sit on the couch & I stayed sitting atop him, still in his hold. He pulled away for a second to rip the top open and his mouth darted for my chest. He sucked between my breast, nipping at the skin. Then he moved along to my right breast sucking with everything in him. Kissing here and there before biting on my nipple then sucking on it, repeatively before doing the same to the left. His kisses then traveled up my neck, still wet & passionate, until he met my lips. He crashed into them like they were his only source of energy, of life. He sucked along my bottom lip as I moaned into his mouth and my hands tightened around his neck, trying to pull him in closer. Just then, he pulled away, and moved me off of him as he stood.

"The next time Drake's here, tell me if he kisses you like that," he said as he walked to the door & before I could chase after him it slammed shut. Seconds later I heard his engine start & him drive off. I sat there, in shock. Then when reality set in, I cried. I cried uncontrollably at the damage I'd done, at the mess I'd made.

AN: Okaaaay.. Well I'll just leave with that. Let me just say that this story has only just begun & I have A LOT in mind. Yes yes, I'm plottin.' BUT I really need for whoever may be reading this to COMMENT. It's very important. It'll let me know in which direction you want the story to go, or if you have any ideas I may or may not use. Also, it let's me know if I should even continue writing this. So, get to it. Type somethin' up, ya know ya wanna. :p Thanks for reading, Xoxo

Empty

Nicki's Pov

I filled my glass to the rim and sighed. The house echoed as the bottle of red wine clinked against the glass table. My eyes roamed across the empty home and I shut my eyes, at the empty feeling within me.

"Cheers," I mumbled as I took a long sip.

It was a long day of studio time and arguing with Safaree, which seemed to be the norm lately. Now here I am in this empty house, sitting in the dark, sprawled across my couch, scrolling through twitter. The only source of positive energy coming from the crazy, sweet tweets from my babies. However, I could feel the soreness of yesterday's video shoot surge through my body as I sat up on the couch.

Ugh, sigh. Twenty minutes later I clicked over to Instagram and scrolled for a while.

"Yass B, slay the 'Gram."

"Oooh I need those Moschino knee-high boots."

"Aw, Joyce & Zeplin are freaking everything!"

"Look at this loser," I stopped on a selfie of Drake & smiled.

I haven't seen him in a while, well since Summer Jam actually. I guess I'll text him since he often forgets how to work a phone. I giggled and opened up my iMessage.

Nicki: >>>Remember me? I hit send and headed to take a very much needed, hot shower.

Drake's Pov

"Watch how crazy it's 'bouta be when everyone finds out about this tour with you and Wayne," OB mused from across the studio.

"I'm just ready to be back at it, see the people," I admitted just as I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out of my pocket & saw that it was a text from Nic.

Drake: I could never forget u<<< I sent and smiled to myself. I missed her.

Nicki: >>>Oh yea? I would've thought otherwise seeing as I initiated this conversation

Drake: Doesn't mean I don't miss u, because u know I do.<<<

Nicki: >>>I miss u too, Aubrey.

"Aye OB, you gonna be good here if I head out?" Drake asked standing up.

"I'm good, I already know by the way you're cheesing at that phone that it must be important," OB laughed.

"I'll catch you later, man," Drake said as he grabbed his keys & headed out.

Nicki's Pov

Just as I finished lotioning up & pulling on a big tee & thong, I heard a knock.

"Who the hell's over here at 2am?" I rolled my eyes, assuming Safaree came back to continue our argument he walked out on much earlier.

I trudged down the steps & to the door to pull it open.

"What do you want?" I spat, annoyed, before I could even see the face of my mystery visitor.

"Well damn Nic, I could tell you really missed me," Drake grinned down at me.

"Aubrey," I smiled up at him & walked into his open arms.

"I told you I missed you, girl," Drake said as he stood back and got a better look at me. He gave me a once over and then stared into my eyes with those hazel orbs of his. "And you look especially beautiful," he complimented.

"Thank you," I smiled. "Wait right here a sec," I hurried up the steps and grabbed a pair of black yoga pants and a smaller tee. I quickly fixed my hair a bit in the mirror. "Oh whatever, it's just Aubrey, this is fine," I headed back downstairs.

"Oh, why so covered up? Dontchya trust me, Nic?" He laughed.

"Mhmmm, don't play innocent nigga," I laughed & pulled him to the kitchen. "I know you're hungry, Watchu wanna eat?"

"Oh so you just knew how bad I wanted one of your amazing late-night sandwiches?" 

"You remember my late-night sandwiches of all the things I've cooked?" I wondered & grabbed the ham, turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato, cheese, & red onions from the fridge. 

"Hey, how could I forget?" he smiled.

I blushed as I thought way back to what we'd usually be up all night doing & how I'd make us late-night sandwiches when we were all out of energy and starving. Then I pushed those thoughts away with quickness.

Once I finished cooking the bacon, extra crispy, toasting & buttering the bread, slicing the meats and cheese, and adding the lettuce, tomato, & onions, I served it to Drake with a smile & sat atop the counter while he ate, getting a bite here and there.

When he was finished I grabbed his plate and washed it while he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Thank you," he said with a kiss on my cheek. "I really missed being around you, Onika."

I dried my hands and turned into him. Those deep hazel eyes peered into mine and I paused, drifting my attention to his lips. I went back in time for just a minute, thinking back to the things they'd do. Those damn lips. Maybe those few glasses of wine is what had me thinking this way. Or maybe it was how lonely I'd been. How exhausting mine and Safaree's constant arguing had become. I wasn't sure what my "love life" even was anymore. But aside from everything, I'd missed Drake. Before all else, he'd always been my best friend. I sighed and brought my arms around his torso and hid my face in his neck.

"I missed being around you too," I mumbled.

"Nic, tell me whats wrong," Drake said and I picked my head up but kept my eyes elsewhere.

Drake's Pov

 

I placed my hand under her chin and lifted her face to meet my gaze.

 

"Nicki, I know when something's wrong. And you know you could tell me anything," I assured her.

She sighed and pulled away, walking to the living room.

"It's nothing, Aubrey, really," she tried to convince me as she poured a glass of wine and took a seat on the couch.

"Oh so you're sitting in this dark room, on the couch with a glass of wine and a silent house for no good reason?" I responded and took a seat on the couch.

She rolled her eyes and poured a glass and handed it to me.
"Who says I need a reason to have a glass of wine?"

I took a long sip and studied her. I stared into those big brown eyes and down to her plump lips in a little pout. I moved closer to her and brushed my hand across her face, my thumb on her chin as I held her face and her eyes met mine.

"I just want to make sure you're okay, make sure you're happy. You know I care. Are you, Onika- happy?" I questioned her and her eyes darted away for a second.

"I'm fine, Drake. I'm okay," she smiled unconvincingly and placed her hand on mine.

"And happy?" I questioned again.

"I'm working. I'm busy. I'm happy about that. About spending time in the studio and finishing up my album," she answered.

"You should be happy in every way possible. You could be," I mumbled the last piece.

She stood and turned away. 

"What're you really doing here, Drake? I'm sure you have someone somewhere waiting for you to get back," she stated bluntly.

Nicki's Pov

 

"Nicki, I don't give a damn about anyone but you. I needed to see you, that's why I came," Drake stood coming my way.

I turned to him and placed my hands on his chest. I stared into his eyes, trying to read him. I could feel the truth in his words, but that didn't stop my doubt. Then my eyes traveled to his lips right as he licked them. Before anything within me could stop me, I grabbed his face and kissed him hard, slowly sucking on his bottom lip, then roughly biting on it.

"I hate your lips," I lied as I pulled away.

"Oh, you do?" He looked down at me and brushed his thumb across my lower lip.

"No," I sighed and hid my face in his chest. "I'm sorry."

"For what? I'm not," he said and brought his lips so close to mine that I could feel his breath. My heart raced and I prayed he couldn't realize the effect he was having on me. His lips brushed mine so softly and slowly before I felt his hands around my waist, pulling me closer to him and into a slow, sensual kiss. My arms wrapped around his neck as he deepened the kiss. He pulled away and moved to my neck leaving soft wet kisses. When he got to my spot and sucked like his life depended on it, I couldn't hold my moan in any longer. "Aubrey," I let out breathlessly. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him, as I felt his tongue lick along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth for him. Our tongues danced and he took control while his grip tightened. I let out another moan before I felt myself being lifted from the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist. My back was pushed against the wall while one of his arms was secured around my waist and the other was pushed to the wall. He moved his kisses back to my neck and I felt his hand lift my tee while he kissed at my collarbone gently before pulling it off of me and lifting me higher. His tongue worked at my chest while he sucked and my fingers got lost in his curls. We moved over to the couch and I straddled his lap before he suddenly pulled away.

"Wait, Nicki," his hands wrapped around me and his eyes were now full of sadness. "As much as I want nothing but you right now, shit, nothing but you forever- I can't do this," he said and I looked into his eyes.

"Aub-"

"No Nicki, you don't understand how badly I've missed being able to hold you, touch you, feel your lips on mine.." his thumb brushed against my lip, "..God, making you moan, but I can't go on knowing you're in a happy relationship and what we're doing right now would ruin that. I'd cause nothing but problems and you'd push me away and fall back into hating me and we'd go months without talking again. I can't handle that shit. I can't handle being away from you, not hearing from you, for that long again." he confessed.

My heart sank and my mind raced as I felt tears build up. I brought my hands over my eyes and lowered my head onto his chest. 

 

"I could never hate you," I finally let out and let a tear escape. 

He pulled my face up and wiped the tear from my cheek.

"You're in a happy relationship.. aren't you, Nic?" he asked, his hands still on my face.

I hid my face in his neck as more tears escaped. Then I quickly got off Drake's lap and stood, wiping my face.

"I'm sorry, Drake, I'm fine. You're right. I-I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing's wrong with you Nicki," he said pulling me to him and kissing my forehead.

"No, something's wrong with me. Obviously, if I'm here having you remind me of my relationship, happy or not whatever it may be, and still all I want is you. All I could focus on is your lips and your touch, and how crazy you're making me feel, emotionally and physically. Who knows what you think of me," I confessed still spilling with tears.

"Onika, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nothing, do you hear me? You are the most beautiful, strong woman, I know and you aren't being kept happy. Whatever's wrong that you don't wanna tell me about you shouldn't have to deal with. If anything, I'm the one in the wrong. I'm an idiot for not fighting hard enough for us back then, when there was a possibility of there being an us. But I didn't, I said I'd let you go and be with that nigga if that's the way you'd be happy. And now look, you aren't happy. Not the way you should be, not the way I could make you. The way you would've been if I would've just fought for you," Drake let out and ran his hands over his face.

"Aubrey," I placed my hand on his face, taking in everything he just said.

"Please stop crying, Nic," He placed his hand over mine. "I'm gonna fight for you this time, I'm gonna fight for you like I'm fighting for my life. I just need you to let me," he stared into my eyes, straight into my soul or so it seemed.

I sniffled, my body tired and my head a mess. "Okay, Aubrey," I pulled him into a soft kiss and then buried my face into his neck as I felt him rub circles into my back and my body succumb to sleep.